Beer in the Hand/ Beer in the Face: Concert Edition

A beer in the hand for a job well done

A beer in the face for the ultimate punishment

"Beer in the Hand or Beer in the Face?" is the greatest game ever created. The premise is simple: you meet a person and have the opportunity to give them a beer in their hand (as a reward) or a beer in the face (as a punishment).

For example: Lance Armstrong is a classic Beer in the Hand guy--he beat cancer and won the Tour De France something like 65 times. Oh, and he dated Sheryl Crow.  
Alex Trebek is a classic Beer in the Face candidate. He is a smug, smarmy, know-it-all dick. Trebek better hope he never sees me at a bar. Clue: Beer to the face. Answer: What is a ruined night.

Using this game as my paradigm, I will now summarize the concert I attended last night at the Royale--Diiv, Those Darlins, and Best Coast.

Beer in the face to: Me. I lost my tickets on the T like a fuckin' noob and had to run to a Fedex/Kinko's to print another copy. This forced me to miss the first few songs of Diiv because I lost precious position in the ridiculously long line. Speaking of which...

Beer in the face to: Royale management. How in God's name does a line build up like that? I was half way down the block. The gates of Heaven don't have a line that long. Open the doors a half hour earlier.

Beer in the hand to: Diiv. They fucking rocked. The crowd didn't seem to know/care about the band but I'll be damned if the show didn't make me love them even more. Very impressive.

Beer in the face to: The crowd. I have a theory that certain shows attract people who don't typically go to concerts/ aren't "serious" music people, and the outcome is a tepid environment. This was the case last night. It was obvious the crowd was there to see Best Coast and only Best Coast. Diiv and Those Darlins both put on excellent shows, but I would bet you dollars to donuts that 95% of the crowd would have fast forwarded through the sets if given the option.

While the crowd was polite enough, it didn't really seem that people were actually enjoying themselves--almost as if they were self-conscious about showing admiration/ any signs of life. Maybe this is just the type of person that is attracted to the music--the type of person that shows up an hour before the show begins to get as close to the stage as possible only to stare blankly as the music is performed and stoically sip their beer after each song. This happened when I saw Mumford and Sons as well and....I hate it. I'm not a fan. I understand that everyone enjoys music in different ways, but it is an objective fact that the experience is better for everyone if the crowd shows some excitement.

Beer in the hand to: The kick-ass stage presence of Those Darlins. They seemed to really enjoy themselves and it translated into a great set.
Ripping guitar solos while playing back-to-back? Yeah, they did that.
Awesome banter with the crowd? Yeah, they did that.
Genuine smiles? Yeah, they had those.
BUT DID THEY INCLUDE  A SAXOPHONE?!? Yes. Yes, they also did that.


Beer in the face to: The Royale as a venue. While the decor is stunning, the Royale is secretly a shitty place to see music. The stage is elevated but the benefits of this are negated by a dance floor section that is also elevated.  This means that if you aren't one of the one hundred people on said dance floor, you are going to get an obstructed view. They have a balcony but the design is such that if you aren't sitting at one of the ten tables (and who wants to do that at a rock show?) then you can't really find space on the railing with a good view. Humbug.

Beer in the hand to: Best Coast. I was a little surprised at how good they sounded live. I don't know why I was surprised, but I'm happy with how it turned out. Bethany has a nice set of pipes and the sound guy (beer in the hand) had the levels sounding right. YA HEAR THAT, HOUSE OF BLUES? THERE ARE SOUND GUYS  IN BOSTON WHO CAN DO THEIR FUCKING JOB! THEY EXIST! HIRE ONE OF THEM!

Stay drunk.