Lana Del Rey

Having seen the new video for Lana Del Rey's contribution to The Great Gatsby soundtrack, I was reminded that I once wrote a review for LDR's first album (and that I used to actually write reviews) that doubled as a rant against overreaction on the internets. I found it and posted it below, along with Lana's video. Apologies to Lil B and Paul Wall...dunno why I was so mean back then.* In addition, sorry to my English teacher, my grammar is pretty poor in this write-up and I'm too lazy to fix it. Also, my copy/paste is weird about importing from GoogleDocs. LOLZ, rightguys?

Reviewing Lana Del Rey’s album is sort of like disecting Tim Tebow’s play; it is nearly impossible to take an unbiased approach. If this were a murder trial, LDR’s jury pool would have to be made up solely of the 1,514 scientists currently inhabiting Anarctica; everyone else on planet earth has seen SNL, has read the internets, or has had a roommate who posted a cover of “Video Games” to Youtube which garnered 1,000 hits.  These truths are indisputable, and the tastemakers who adjudicate talent and mete out praise would be the first to second my opinion.
The moment that one partakes in the hype machine, thus acting as a cog in its wheel, is the moment  they are prone to do crazy things. The examples are ample: Pitchfork, one of Del Rey’s most fervent supporters, gave the album a tepid 5.5. (By comparison, they gave Lil B’s newest mixtape a 6.3. No disrespect to Lil’ B but...actually, lots of disrespect to Lil’ B. Dude is garbage). The AV Club rated the album a D+ after running an article relating to her seemingly every day. Juliette Lewis (known for her fantastic live performances and angelic voi--wait, what?) likened Del Rey’s SNL perfromance to that of a 12 year old and said she was unworthy of taking the stage. Even Lovable Brian Williams joined in on the act, dropping his metaphorical trousers to dump on Ms. Del Rey by tweeting that her SNL performance was “the worst in SNL history”.  My advice to the reviewing world: CHILL THE FUCK OUT. Like the car dealer said to the aging bachelor, “Now, you are just overcompensating”.

    Overcompensation is a virulent presence in our current insta-media world and it seems to be here to stay. Like naps after bong hits, backlash after hype seems to be a necessary evil. To further understand what might lead a reviewer (read: anyone with a twitter) to make hyperbolic overstatements, let’s take a look at how one becomes an indie-buzz-darling:

1. Artist X creates song (s) 2. blog hears/loves song  3.blog runs piece on Artist X telling the world why they love Artist X and why the world should too 4. Reader agrees with blog, says so in comments section and social media 5. Blog tracks every performance, new track, and bowel movement of Artist X 6. Readers begin backlash due to overexposure and to ensure the continuation of the mantra “haters gonna hate”  7. Readers begin backlash to the backlash and spawn a war of words, where Artist X has now become the Best Thing Ever or the Worst Thing Ever 8. Artist releases album 9. Blog writes overly-critical review of album because it doesn’t fulfill ridiculous standards created in the hyperbolic battle that has been raging amongst readers since step 7, and to ensure the continuation of the mantra “we are unbiased 3rd parties”. God Bless you, Al Gore.

    When Paul Wall rapped the great lyric “ I got the internet goin’ nuts” in 2007, there is no way that he thought this is what goin’ nuts would become in 2012. I mean, how could he--I doubt the man has ever had a single coherent thought in his life. But syrup-sipping, diamond-grill studded Houston jewelers aside, no one could have forseen that this is where “journalism” was headed. IT IS THE WORST THING EVER!

    Tastemakers- that is to say blogs that give exposure to burgeoning indie artists--set trends. They fill the role once done by zines or music publications and hire writers who are at least adequate and mostly good.  A great review from Pitchfork can launch your career (just ask Japandroids) and I have no problem with this.(My beef lay not with you, Pitchfork, so please do not rate my writing a 1.0 like you did Childish Gambino’s album, which will surely become a first-ballot Overcompensation Hall of Fame inductee.)  My problem doesn’t lie with these websites, necessarily. The problem comes from those who comment on these sites and then cite the site (he sighted a cite?) to justify their point. It is an echo chamber of fuckery.

The elimination of a few key barriers of entry (eg a space to get your opinion heard, the need to have good taste, and the ability to write) has created a world where everyone is a critic. And by critic, I mean asshole.

Having had enough time to give the album multiple listens and detach myself (as much as I ever will) from the fervent back-and-forth, I say that the album is a B+. It would benefit from culling a few tracks but otherwise it is a sound piece of work. The production is stellar, as Del Rey spares no expense, getting top shelf work from the likes of  the man behind Kanye West’s Runaway. Del Rey presents to the world a concept album about what it means to be a heart-broken, high-society woman in 2012--a sort of bizzaro 808’s and Heartbreaks. At times, Del Rey seems obsessive about her lost beau, willing to do anything to ensure a different outcome to the story of her broken romance. Other times, she seems to think that trying to change her life is hopeless and forlorn--that she is destined to be forever alone.  At its best it is stirring, at it’s worst it is vanilla. Never is it terrible.

In conclusion, I would like to describe Lana Del Rey’s album by paraphrasing the late Al Davis’ defense of Jamarcus Russell: “It’s a good album! Get Over it!” Here’s hoping Lana Del Rey’s career doesn’t end like Russell’s.

*By "back then" I mean a year or so ago...but that is like, what, 12 years in internet time right?